Author's notes: I would like the reader to read this and this about facing their fears and remember that just because something seems scary doesn't mean they can't do it. I think the characters were easy to write because I understand how people are and get inspiration for the characters from my friends. My story has it's problems too, I don't get stage-fright, at least not since since I was a little kid, so I couldn't speak from experience when I wrote it, and I had trouble writing the ending so I hope that didn't turn out dry. I would appreciate tips on how to make my ending better. Thank you.
-Sean
”NO NO NO!” he shouted “NO NO NO NO NO!” I stormed out of the band room shouting with my flute still in my hand. Harry and Clev turned from their card game and looked questioningly at me.
Now I’ll tell you why I was yelling. You see, I have stage fright. I have performed in front of crowds before, but this is my first high school performance, and I want it to be as close to perfect as I can get it. I am very nervous because in one of the songs, I have a solo, where only I play, and if I mess up, everyone will know. I was just practicing in the band room after school when I messed up again and started shouting and stormed into the adjacent room, known as the middle room, where everyone in the performing arts department hangs out during their free time.
“I can’t get it right”, I replied, “No matter how many times I try, it isn’t good enough.”
Clev put his hand on my shoulder. He did this whenever he was offering big words of encouragement, I guess he does it for emphasis when he’s trying to make his point.. “The more you practice, the better it gets, you of all people know that, more than anyone else, and you are an amazing flute player because of it. Just keep practicing and you’ll do fine dude, don’t worry.” This caused Harry to grin, and then they started loudly singing “Don’t Worry Be Happy”.
This reassured me a little but as the concert came closer I became more and more worried.
One week before the concert I was still practicing my routine of practicing in the band room for an hour or two after school and I was steadily making progress, but that didn’t make the uneasy feeling of the looming performance go away. My friends continued to offer words of encouragement but I knew that as much as they could try to help me through it, I would have to be the one to face my fear and go out there.
Before I knew it, it was the day of the band concert and was prepared from my practice but still nervous. I drifted through my classes trying to calm my jumpy nerves. In 6th period biology, my last class of the day, I sat next to Sha.
“Jesus Erbert, you look like a mess.” she pointed out, and I did look like a mess. My hair was screwed up and my clothes were rumpled, I was going to have to fix that before show time.
“Thanks for the words of wisdom, anything else?” I said sarcastically
“You’re playing a concert, not going to your death bed, calm down.”
I thought that that was a little harsh, but I knew she was right. “Well this is a new experience for me and I’m nervous.” I complained.
“No it isn’t, you’ve been doing these concerts since you were ten and the same are gonna show up that always show up, parents and a few friends. It isn’t any different than before, except the conductor is better.” she said. I laughed nervously. The last bell of the day rung.
The end of the school day had come faster than I expected and soon after that it was show time. I thought about what my friends had been saying for weeks and knew they were right. I was good a flute and wouldn’t mess up unless I keep letting it get to my head. And of course I was still nervous but at show time I knew. I knew I had to face my fear and play the concert no matter what. I sat down next to Clev and Sha, Harry gave me a thumbs up and Zod flashed a smile.I saw the crowd as the curtain went up and got ready. Sha was right, it was just the same people that were always there. The conductor looked around and made sure everyone was set. We started and I played my heart out. And I did well, but honestly, it doesn’t matter if I did well or not. What matters in the performing arts, what matters in everything, is that it comes from the heart. And on that day my music came from the heart.
I like this story especially "Erbert".
ReplyDeleteIf I were to give a suggestion please add more characters. I like the style of writing and would like it if there was more detail in this as well. Try to bring more interesting plots too. Try to bring more of a balance in the dark and light tone.
ReplyDelete1. The conflict is that the main character has a high school performance to do but because it's his first high school performance he has stage freight.
ReplyDelete2. The main character is Herbert but everybody calls him Erbert. At the beginning of the story Erbert has stage freight and but near the end of the story Erbert decided to face his fears and play at the concert.
3. My favorite part was when the author was describing all of Erbert friends and made each of them different and interesting.
4. The story's best quality was how the author showed how Erbert was feeling about the concert because the author really showed that Erbert was really nervous about the concert.
5. The theme of the story is to believe in yourself.
6. I think the author should check his story again because there is one part of the story that doesn't make sense.
Question 2- Erbert changes from the beginning to end of the story. In the beginning he was nervous about messing up his flute solo in the band concert and his friends told him not to be nervous. At the end he realized that anything you do comes from the heart. He became more confidante and less worried at the end.
ReplyDeleteQuestion 3-I thought the ending of your story was actually really good. That was one of my favorite parts. Its one of my favorites because its when Erbert finally became confidante about himself and it was OK if his performance wasn't as perfect as he wanted it to be.